评论
打印
Welcome back. My guest tonight, an amazing comedian.
欢迎回来 今晚的嘉宾是一个鼎鼎大名的喜剧演员
His new film is called Think Like a Man too.
他的新电影叫做《像男人一样思考》
I've been giving this a lot of thought.
我想了很久
I want you to be my best man.
我想让你做我的伴郎（最好的男人）
Me?
我
No, CED, actually, I was talking to Dom—
不是 赛德 我是在跟多姆讲话
No listen, don't say nothing right now, man.
不 你听着 什么都别说
Like, I knew you and I had a connection, but this is crazy.
我知道我们之间有暧昧 但是这太疯狂了
Let me tell you something, this means so much to me.
我想告诉你 你所说的对我来说意义重大
I'm not gonna let you down.
我不会让你失望的
Let me say something, I'm going to be the best best man in the history of all best men.
我想说 我会是世界上的所有最好的男人中最好的一个
I've always wanted to be a best man, you going to give me that opportunity?
我想当你的男人很久了 你愿意给我这个机会吗
We came here to golf, and now you going to give me this blessing?
我们是来打高尔夫的 你却给我这么大一个惊喜
I gotta, I gotta go to the bathroom, Dom. This is, this little light of mine.
我 我得去下洗手间 多姆 这 我这小小的光芒啊
I'm going to let it shine.
我会让它闪耀
Please welcome Kevin Hart.
欢迎凯文·哈特
Kevin Hart. What's going on? Please, my friend, please.
凯文 最近怎么样 请坐
They love you. They love, it's love.
他们很喜欢你 他们在表达对你的爱
Thank you. That's amazing.
谢谢 太好了
They're very nice. Nice to see you, my friend. Thank you, man.
他们太棒了 很高兴见到你 谢谢
First of all, congratulations on everything. Thank you, Jon.
首先 为你最近的一切好事恭喜你 谢谢你 囧
Everything. Thank you, sir.
恭喜你 谢谢
You are ruling what I think may be the world.
你几乎主宰了我的一切想法
Oh well, Jon, that is an amazing compliment. It's the Kevin Hart decade.
哇 受宠若惊啊 近十年的喜剧事业是你一个人的天下
Well listen, I'm not going to fight that.
啊 这一点我不反驳
I'm, I'm hoping that, that I can stay true.
我 我希望我能保持初心
It's been a good time. I'm blessed. I have loyal fans...
这个时代很好 我被上帝保佑着 还有这么多忠实的粉丝
Who have stuck with me from day one and who have seen me grow into what I am now
他们从一开始就陪着我 也见证了我今天的成就
and hopefully continue to grow.
我希望他们能一直这样下去
So I thank you all, not only for the welcoming, but for the support.
所以 谢谢你们 不仅仅是感谢你们刚才对我的欢迎 还有你们给我的支持
They're very nice people. It's amazing.
他们真是很棒的粉丝啊 大家太热情了
So here's what I want to talk about.
我今天想聊聊
We could spend the time talking about the movie, but you and I both know...
我们本来可以聊聊你的电影 但我们都知道……
Let's talk. Man, I'm here. I wanna...I'm in your world.
聊吧 我就在这儿呢 我想……这儿可是你的地盘
But here's what I want to talk about. I don't want to talk about the movie. I want to talk about...
但我不想聊电影了 我想聊聊……
You did something, and I don't get to talk about this with anybody else here. OK.
你做了一件事 这件事我跟之前来的人都没聊过 嗯
You hosted raw. Monday night raw.
你主持了世界摔角比赛 就在周一晚上
Is that correct? Holy schnikes, yes. Yes. WWE. WWE raw.
对吗 对 世界摔角比赛 世界摔角比赛 对
All right. So whenever I'm here, my son and I...OK.
好吧 每次我在这儿的时候 我儿子跟我都会……嗯
That's all we do, is watch wrestling.
我们只看摔跤比赛
That's all you all do is watch wrestling.
你们只看摔跤比赛
It's the only way I can communicate with the boy...is through violence.
这是我唯一能跟我儿子交流的方式 就是暴力
But you come in here and they're all like, did you see what happened on CNN?
但是你来了 我儿子就问我 你知道美国有线电视新闻网在播什么吗
And I'm like, evolution broke up, do you understand?
我当时就觉得 这真是天大的进步啊 你明白吧
How serious it is. Listen, I'm not going to lie to you, man, I'm a fan.
那太严肃了 你听我说 我不会跟你撒谎 我是你的粉丝
First of all, I'm a fan of wrestling. Yes.
首先 我是摔跤比赛的粉丝 嗯
And, I've dropped off, you know, as I've gotten older, so...
但是我开始在看比赛的时候睡着 你知道的 人年纪一大 就……
Oh yeah, no, me, too. I'm not...
知道 我也这样 我不是……
How, how old is your kid? How old is your kid?
你儿子几岁 他几岁了
He's 23.
他23
He's 23! What?
什么 他都23啦
No, he's not. He's not. He's turning ten.
不是 没有啦 他快10岁了
But he's nine and he just discovered it this year.
他现在9岁 今年才喜欢上摔跤
No, that's the perfect age, though.
没事 9岁是最合适的年纪
That's around the age that I was into it, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我差不多也是这个年纪喜欢上的 嗯 嗯
So, I can say me going here brought back all the memories of when I was like just engulfed in this, in this sport...
所以 我现在脑子里都是刚喜欢上这项运动时的记忆
Who were the big guys when you were a kid?
你小时候比较厉害的都有谁
When I was a kid? Oh, Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, Junk Yard Dog, Koko B. Ware, Road Warriors.
我小时候 有杜斯提·罗德兹 瑞克·佛莱尔 可可B·维尔 道路战士
I'm showing my age right now.
太暴露年龄了
Oh, you want somebody to show some age...I don't want to know...
你想看我暴露年龄吗 不想……
Bruno San Martino, Gorilla Monsoon, Haystacks Calhoun. Oh, my gosh.
布鲁诺·圣·马蒂诺 暴徒季风 干草垛卡尔霍恩 天哪
Jimmy Superfly Snuka.
吉米·斯努卡
I remember Jimmy...You do remember Jimmy?
这个我记得……真的吗
I remember him. Chief Jay strongbow.
真的 酋长强弓杰呢
No, no, you are 1 for 6 for me right now.
这个不知道 我们现在1比6了
I knew none of those, I didn't even know they were wrestlers.
你说的我都不知道 听都没听说过
What was it, so, so, did you, did they want to throw you? Did you do any...
那 那他们有把你抛到空中吗 他们有没有……
They came out, no, they come out with all physical stuff first.
他们来 没有 他们出来的时候手里拿的有东西
Hey, Kevin, it's going to be great.
只说 凯文 你肯定能尽兴
We'll get you in the ring.
我们带你进场
I said, well, let's stop right there.
我说 行了 别说了
I'm not going to do that. I said, I'm not going in the ring.
我才不去 我不进场
I don't want to do any stunts with these guys.
我可不想跟这些人一起玩
I said, no, let's just, let's do something where, I can, you know, I can shine.
我就说 不用了 我们来做点别的事吧 我会打光
And it was like, what do do you? Are you fast?
他们问 那你干嘛 你跑得快吗
I was like, I can talk.
我说 我会说话
I said, I want to go and I want to commentate.
我想去解说
Let me commentate. Nice.
我来解说吧 聪明
But that way I can talk about the sport, I can be a personality.
那样我就能聊聊这项比赛 我很有个性的
So, they're like, okay, okay. Good, we'll do that.
于是他们就说 那好吧 太好了 那就这样吧
And, I get there, and they said, Kevin, we came up with something great for you.
我去了之后 他们说 凯文 我们给你准备了惊喜
We can get you in the ring.
我们可以让你进场比赛
And I was like, well, well, listen, I thought I told you all I didn't want to get up in that ring.
我就说 听着 我想我告诉过你们我不想进场
You know, I just don't want to do it.
真的不想去
So I get in the ring after this guy's fight,
没办法 那个人打完后我就进了场
and, you know, he's a dancer, fandango, it's not fandango, it's fan-dan-go. Fan-dan-go. Yeah.
他会跳舞 跳方丹戈 不是范丹戈 是方丹戈 方丹戈 对
Yeah. So, after he wins, you know, he does these dances,
对 他赢了之后 就在那跳舞
and he's really engulfed in it, and I get in and I dance with him,
沉迷的不得了 我就进去
but the funny thing is, the ropes, like, I have a completely different respect for the ropes.
跟他一起跳 但搞笑的是 我完全搞错了那些绳子
You know, you're supposed to go, it's the first, the second and third.
你应该知道的 那有三根绳子
You're supposed to pull first two apart and step through it.
本来应该是把上面两根拉起来 从第三根上方跨过去
The first man in history. I pull the bottom, I went through...
我成了史上第一个拉开最下面一根绳子然后钻过去的人……
I went through the bottom of the rope.
我从最下面一根绳子下面钻过去了
And after I did it, like, I didn't even realize I did it.
而且之后 我完全没意识到我干了什么
And, I come off and all the wrestlers were,
我就走过去 然后所有的摔跤选手都说
hey, that was pretty funny the way you did that going through the bottom thing.
嘿 你刚刚那么走 好好笑哦
And I was like, what are you talking about? What was funny?
我就懵了 你说啥呀 什么好笑
It was like, it was like that was a bit, right?
他们说这是你表演的一部分是吧
You did that for jokes.
是故意搞笑的吧
No, that was my level. That's, that's where, that's where I am.
不 我就只有那么高 就这样
That's how I get into this thing. That's how I naturally got into it.
我就是这么进去的 真的
Have you ever gotten a chance, you know, in your career you get chance to do...
你职业生涯中有没有 有没有……
You're probably like me, I'm a huge sports fan.
你大概跟我一样是运动粉
Have you got an chance to get into athletic situations
你有没有过在某个运动场合觉得高兴疯了
that have blown your mind or met an idol or anything like that.
比如见到偶像之类的
Yeah, tons of them.
那可多了
Well, Jon, you may not know this, but you're looking at a two-time celebrity M.V.P. for the all-star weekend.
囧 你大概不知道 但现在在你面前的是两次周末全明星赛的最佳选手
No, no, I didn't realize that. Yeah. Yes.
我都没注意到 真的
And, what's your, what's your field of...
那 那是哪个项目的……
Basketball. You know, it was a, it is a pastime, you know, thing of mine. Whatever.
篮球 都过去了 而且这事儿挺私人的
I could have went to the league. I chose not to.
我本来有机会加入联盟的 但我没去
No, I understand, I understand. Smart choice.
理解理解 这是明智的选择
You're doing very well. You're doing very well.
你很不错了 很不错了
Here's the sport that I have a different respectful for baseball.
我很喜欢棒球运动
Uh I know some friends that play baseball.
也认识一些打棒球的朋友
You know you get into these celebrity events and weekends after softball games, real baseball games.
和名人一起度周末 打打垒球、棒球什么的
So I was gonna play in a baseball game
我想尝试打棒球
and I should go play like go to bat and catch a warm-up
我知道应该练习击中棒球 先热热身
and my friend was like do you play with us and I said no, never play baseball
朋友们说 想一起玩玩吗 我说 不了 我没打过棒球
I said so you know there's nothing I'll get the ball
我打不中
I'll wing a couple out I'll be fine
我练习挥动球杆
He said I bet you any amount of money that you won't hit three pitches
我敢和你打赌 你最多超不过三个球
and we put it on like 50, 60 miles an hour, I said bet
我说好 赌就赌
cuz that's literally explicit. Literally speed.
说赌就赌
I think the machine throughout 25 pitches. Mm-hmm.
机器投出25个球
I hit none and I'm talking about a valuable effort like my ribs were hurting
我一个也没打中 我尽力了 肋骨都受伤了
they said that's not supposed to happen
他们说这不可能吧
but I have a different respect with baseball I can't go the clubs they are too big.
我始终保持对棒球的尊重 俱乐部场地太大 我才不去的
The clubs are like at my heart when I hold it I can't my swing makes no sense.
它们就好比我的心脏 我得小心翼翼 所以没法自如挥球杆
Me and you should start a league for the gentleman player that may not have been the size...
我们两个应该组建一个联盟 专门吸纳那些体形不算大的温和型的选手……
Yet still considers themselves somewhat agile.
虽然体型不大 但是很敏捷
Well, I'm agile, but then you go to the sport where your size works, like soccer.
我就很敏捷 但是你总会参加一些体形更重要的比赛 比如足球
And, then I figured out I'm not really that fast.
然后我就发现其实我也没那么快
You know, so, I got pros and cons for everything I've done.
所以我不管做什么都有优势也有劣势
I box. And, I was really good when I had a trainer. Yeah, yeah.
我还练拳击 有教练教我的时候我特别厉害 嗯
You know, but I just hit his hands, and he was like, you know, it was nothing else.
我就只打他的手 他就 别的地方都不打
It was just his hands.
只打手
And I was like, yo, I'm really good.
我就很得意 哟 瞧我多厉害
And, you know, I was like, yo, I'm fast.
哟 瞧我多快
My timing is great. Yeah, yeah.
瞧 我时机抓得多好 嗯
And one day we were doing it, and, you know, he did this.
突然有一天我们这么练的时候 他这样来了一下
He's never done this ever.
他之前从来没这么出过手
He's never... Listen, we trained so much.
他从来……听我说 我们练了这么久
Not once has he ever done this,
他一次也没这么打过
but I guess he expected a nasty reaction.
但我想他可能是在等我一个有力的回击
So, you know, I'm like one-two-three, one-two, bop-bop-bop.
于是我就1-2-3 1-2的数
And he went like this. And, it hit me.
他出手了 还打到我了
I stopped. I took my gloves off.
我就停手了 脱了手套
I said, what is that about?
我问 你干嘛呢
When did we start fighting back? Like, what is that?
怎么还带还手的啊 你干嘛呢
I was pissed off.
我气得不行
I was like, dude, I'm done, I'm not, like I'm done with this session. This is not boxing.
我就说 行了 我不干了 这不是拳击
He was like, Kevin, this is for you to duck.
他说 凯文 这是让你练闪避
I was like, first of all, that's not.
我说 首先 这不是让我练闪避的
That's a punch, what you did. That's a punch.
是攻击 你刚才那个 就是攻击
He's like, I thought you would duck.
他说 我以为你会躲
Well, you thought wrong, and you also just got docked.
你以为错了 我要扣你钱
I deducted an amount. That's about it.
我就扣了他工资 就这样
No, I think that's wise. Well, very nice.
我觉得这样挺好的
It's so good to see you.
很高兴见到你
Please, please, please come back and see us. I have to, man!
请你一定 一定 一定要再来我们节目 必须的
The movie, Think Like a Man too, it's in the theaters on Friday. Yes!
凯文的新电影《像男人一样思考》 周五在影院上映哦 好
The always wonderful Kevin Hart. Thank you, man.
掌声送给凯文·哈特 谢谢
